When the end comes

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Must be thinking of me to post on this subject.
Now you evil buggers can switch my life support off.
 

flash010

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hahaha loved it they better pull the plug on me before they catheterise me no way am i dieing with that shoved up me japs eye lol
 
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Haforn

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hahaha loved it they better pull the plug on me before they catheterise me no was am i dieing with that shoved up me japs eye lol
It is a sod, getting old. These days, in my 50's, everytime I go for a routine checkup I end up with a finger up my arse.
Maybe I should get a different dentist?
 

Mise

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They've been telling me my entire life that I've been running around with a finger up me arse.
 

Bags

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It is a sod, getting old. These days, in my 50's, everytime I go for a routine checkup I end up with a finger up my arse.
Maybe I should get a different dentist?
Now that got me laughing Ha!
 

Tonyus

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You don't need to worry about that. Alcohol can help with that problem too. I tested it and it work's, just make sure you don't "overdose" your partner, or you'll spend the night holding his head over the toilet.
 

Bags

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You don't need to worry about that. Alcohol can help with that problem too. I tested it and it work's, just make sure you don't "overdose" your partner, or you'll spend the night holding his head over the toilet.
spoken like a true gent huh? Ok well I've read that thread 3 times and I'm sure if I look real hard....I MIGHT just find a compliment in there somewhere....who am I kidding Ha!

Bags :D
 

Tonyus

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What more can I say, beauty lies in the eyes of the beerholder...
 
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Martin Scott

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spoken like a true gent huh? Ok well I've read that thread 3 times and I'm sure if I look real hard....I MIGHT just find a compliment in there somewhere....who am I kidding Ha!

Bags :D
Dont worry hunni some of us like you when were sober, me when i go its going to be in bed with me boots off and me teeth out with a stupid inane grin on my face knowing apart from the kids the rest of the vultures are getting feck all,
 

Tonyus

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Alright, I have to admit, living in a country where young, beautiful girl's are every step of the way, sometime's I really enjoy the company of more experienced woman. Actually I wouldn't trade a 36 year old for two 18 yr. old one's. Maybe because I'm getting older...
 
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Martin Scott

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Alright, I have to admit, living in a country where young, beautiful girl's are every step of the way, sometime's I really enjoy the company of more experienced woman. Actually I wouldn't trade a 36 year old for two 18 yr. old one's. Maybe because I'm getting older...
no Tony wiser the cuddles last a lot longer and some mature ladies dont have a hidden agenda like some of the young ones.
 

Bags

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What more can I say, beauty lies in the eyes of the beerholder...
Thought you'd appreciate this joke...

Why We Split Up

She told me we couldn't afford beer at $25.00 a case anymore. Too bad, but I would have to quit drinking.

Then the next day I caught her spending $65.00 on a tiny bottle of make-up.

I asked her how come I had to give up stuff and she didn't.

She said she needed the make-up to look pretty for me. I told her that wasn't necessary, that's what the beer was for!

Besides, my beer was 40 bucks cheaper.

I don't think she's coming back…
 

Haforn

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no Tony wiser the cuddles last a lot longer and some mature ladies dont have a hidden agenda like some of the young ones.
Martin, thats all well and good as far as it goes. Trouble is, I am now at the age where GF's have grown up children. It has taken a lot of skilful manoeuvring to make sure I don't end up in the sack with someones granny.
 
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Martin Scott

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Martin, thats all well and good as far as it goes. Trouble is, I am now at the age where GF's have grown up children. It has taken a lot of skilful manoeuvring to make sure I don't end up in the sack with someones granny.
I did and she took me to heaven and back twice lmao
 

gatorojo ✞

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Martin, thats all well and good as far as it goes. Trouble is, I am now at the age where GF's have grown up children. It has taken a lot of skilful manoeuvring to make sure I don't end up in the sack with someones granny.
Brother, you could benefit from reading some Kipling, specifically "The Ladies."

I know a lot of you hard-chargers think that Poetry is from faggots, but not Kipling. How could any warrior not live a poem that starts out:


"The Ladies" By Rudyard Kipling

I've taken my fun where I've found it,
I've rouged an' I've ranged in my time,
I've 'ad my pickin' o' sweethearts,
An' four of the lot was Prime.
One was an 'arf-caste widow,
One was a woman at Prome,
One was the wife of a jemadar-sais
An' one is a girl at 'ome

Now I aren't no 'and with the ladies,
for, takin' 'em all along,
You never can say till you've tried 'em,
An' then you are like to be wrong.
There's times when you'll think that you mightn't,
There's times when you'll know that you might,
but the things you will learn form the Yellow an' Brown,
They'll 'elp you a lot with the White!

I was a young un at "Oogli,
Shy as a girl to begin,
Aggie de Castrer she made me,
An' Aggie was clever as sin;
Older than me, but my first un -
More like a mother she were -
Showed me the way to promotion an' pay,
An' I learned about women from 'er!


There's more, but these are enough to give you a relevant taste.
 

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