Patient Ladies any advice

#1
My partner is heading off to France in the new year, and I'm staying here in Ireland with the kids. Any Legion wives or girlfriends out there could do with a chat. He is confident and has accepted the sacrifices but I'm feeling a little daunted. Any advice?

This account is in his name but we both using it.

Thank you in advance, Pauline
 
#3
I'm afraid I can't be anything but blunt and I know for sure that the both of you will hate me for this but here it goes: a MAN does NOT leave his wife and kids behind for at least 5 years to pursue his childhood dream, escape the boring everyday life or whatever his reason may be. What a ******* dickhead move. With that said I wish you all the best and I hope that you will find someone here who you can talk to.
 
#4
I just want to add that I don't know you or the reason for your (or I guess your husbands) decision, and as a matter of fact it's none of my ******* business. I guess we all live according to our own principals and morality but being the family oriented guy that I am with no contact with my own father your post really struck a nerve. 5 years is a long time, especially for a child.
 

G.I. Joe

Active Member
#5
a MAN does NOT leave his wife and kids behind for at least 5 years to pursue his childhood dream, escape the boring everyday life or whatever his reason may be.
I didn't read anything about her saying he left to 'pursue his childhood dream...' - and this could be vastly different from the reason he is really choosing to do it.... maybe he has got himself in the shit and needs to lay low, maybe he is unemployed and just can't get a job....

Hermit I have a similar situation to you 'not existent contact with family' but I don't think we can assume he is joining the Legion as part of some sort of 'childhood dream'....
 
#6
maybe he has got himself in the shit and needs to lay low, maybe he is unemployed and just can't get a job....
I guess one should avoid getting into shit when one has a family to take care of. Do people really join FFL because of unemployment? The hard work and time you invest in the Legion would most likely give you a higher return on investment in civil society.
 
#7
Thanks to every ones response, texasmum I will set up my own account, now hermit, did you ever hear of "hell hath no fury like a woman scorned", first of all it's not a childhood dream, second define a MAN. My man is doing this so as to provide for his family not to run away from it. At thirty with two kids 10yrs and 2 yrs, and before he goes there will be one in the oven, he has proved that he is man enough to be a farther and that he is willing to to do anything to provide for them. G.I Joe your dead right, needs work and with limited choice available he thinks it's a better choice (and safer) than the BA. You know I've been looking around this forum and there is a lot of negativity about family, a bit sad from an institution that calls it self a family.
 

flash010

Top Member
Legionnaire
#8
hermit you cant judge others on your own expearince i do agree its a hard thing to leave your family for a dream.
and is one of the( haha i told ya so resions ) for joining. but this is not the case.
as for you mrs greum.
the legion dont give a crap how any one find look or judge us for most the legion is the last chance hotel.
the legion existed 100,s of years as it is and change comes slow.
might be a good thing might be bad i cant tell but a bunch of drunk soldiers trying to shag you wife would not be good for any one involved. i have met brit army wives even been out with one to me most are a head feck a soldier can do with out.
p.s. not having a go just telling how i see it.
you both have good points but dont turn it in to a pissing match lol
 

Old Adj

Actual or Ex Legionnaire
Legionnaire
#9
Thanks to every ones response, texasmum I will set up my own account, now hermit, did you ever hear of "hell hath no fury like a woman scorned", first of all it's not a childhood dream, second define a MAN. My man is doing this so as to provide for his family not to run away from it. At thirty with two kids 10yrs and 2 yrs, and before he goes there will be one in the oven, he has proved that he is man enough to be a farther and that he is willing to to do anything to provide for them. G.I Joe your dead right, needs work and with limited choice available he thinks it's a better choice (and safer) than the BA. You know I've been looking around this forum and there is a lot of negativity about family, a bit sad from an institution that calls it self a family.
OK. My turn. I think that it will be a little difficult for you a first money wise because money is short (at least until he gets to be a coporal). It's very doable, though. If you're going to comme over and join him when he's in his regiment there are lot's of "allocations" from the French gouvernement that will help you out (child allowance, housing allowance and such like). The Légion wont help you though. There are no "families officers" or married quarters but there are what they call garrison offices ("bureaux de garnison") who have some subventionned flats to let to soldiers which are worth a look. He wont be allowed to officially live out of camp until he's got his situation (name, nationality and such like) sorted out. This used to be called rectification or RSM. It was the same for me but I just did it unofficially until I was allowed! I've been out a while now and the regulations are always changing so someone more up to date may be able to give you better advice but I just wanted to say that it's possible and to wish you (and him) luck.
 

Tonyus

Hyper Active Member
#10
The toughest day of my life was, while in Germany, working as a HGV driver and my (then 5 year old) daughter started crying for me to go home, while I was talking to her on the phone... I could have left right then and there everything just to go home and comfort her, but we needed the money and her mother (now ex.) calmed her down. Now I live/work near her, on much less money that I earned, BUT every weekend I spend with her and if she needs me I'm not more than an hour away (30 min. if it's urgent). I'm not saying that it's impossible, but spending months away from your kids will be a real tough challenge. Add that to the Legion way of life and I think it's next to the impossible. In my opinion anyway.
I wish you both the best of all and take care.
 

belabok

Active Member
#12
I'm afraid I can't be anything but blunt and I know for sure that the both of you will hate me for this but here it goes: a MAN does NOT leave his wife and kids behind for at least 5 years to pursue his childhood dream, escape the boring everyday life or whatever his reason may be. What a ******* dickhead move. With that said I wish you all the best and I hope that you will find someone here who you can talk to.
Well I know a few "dickheads" who is married, who joined, to put food on the table for their loved ones. I met some of these wifes when I was in france last year at cameron day and it amazed me to see quite a number of "woman" who came to see there "dickheads". I could not help to ask a few questions and discussed this with some. Obviously it had nothing to do with childhood dreams, but it was a means to an end for most of them. Hat's of to these couple making such a sacrifice, to be able to get to their goals.
- making a living instead of bumming of people
- provide for their children to attend schools etc, that would otherwise be impossible.

and best of all, these "dickhead" married daydreamers have my utmost respect, but even more the woman supporting them.

There is a LOT more then what the eye see, but that is not something that you will comprehend unless you get to know these individuals and know there circumstances.
 

belabok

Active Member
#13
Thanks to every ones response, texasmum I will set up my own account, now hermit, did you ever hear of "hell hath no fury like a woman scorned", first of all it's not a childhood dream, second define a MAN. My man is doing this so as to provide for his family not to run away from it. At thirty with two kids 10yrs and 2 yrs, and before he goes there will be one in the oven, he has proved that he is man enough to be a farther and that he is willing to to do anything to provide for them. G.I Joe your dead right, needs work and with limited choice available he thinks it's a better choice (and safer) than the BA. You know I've been looking around this forum and there is a lot of negativity about family, a bit sad from an institution that calls it self a family.
Sorry I did not even get to this point before I already posted my comment to hermit.
See my comments to him. I have met the most awesome couples last year. One couple had a little boy.. But you know what, the pride in their faces I will never forget. Neither the legionaire holding a small child in his arms cudling his son... Neither the 35+ old legionaire who made a new start, still holding hands with his wife and kids.

Now that to me is not someone that made some "dickhead" moves, but when looking closer, you find circumstances required/dictated to leave a woman and a child, just so that that legionair could still be able to look the world in the eyes.

It sure as hell cannot be easy on both man and woman, but respect to anyone going this route.
God bless.
 
M

Martin Scott

Unregistered
#14
Well heres my view straight from the horses mouth www.legion-recrute.com/en
What ever your marital status Single ,divorced. or married.
You will be enlisted as a single man.
What that really says is we dont really care if you got kids and a wife at home, as far as were concerned your single thats it.
Looking deeper into the equation the BSLE if your partner gets thats far may view the fact that he has kids as a block on his application to join as he could potentially desert after a accident or something like that at home
Five years is a long time and who knows what could happen in that time, fate is very fickle and most of the guys who I knew where divorced or had joined because of a woman and had nothing to lose.
I would think very long and very hard if I was in his shoes especially with the children involded. Even in the British Army I saw blokes marriages go down the pan , months way from home, when in barracks out with the lads on the piss ect, woman at home on her own wants her own life and not a good support system in place ect ect ect. I could go on but from a personal point of view I couldnt do it as a father or a husband.
Whatever he decides I wish him and you Bon Chance.
 
M

Martin Scott

Unregistered
#15
Thanks to every ones response, texasmum I will set up my own account, now hermit, did you ever hear of "hell hath no fury like a woman scorned", first of all it's not a childhood dream, second define a MAN. My man is doing this so as to provide for his family not to run away from it. At thirty with two kids 10yrs and 2 yrs, and before he goes there will be one in the oven, he has proved that he is man enough to be a farther and that he is willing to to do anything to provide for them. G.I Joe your dead right, needs work and with limited choice available he thinks it's a better choice (and safer) than the BA. You know I've been looking around this forum and there is a lot of negativity about family, a bit sad from an institution that calls it self a family.
Whats wrong with him enlisting in the Irish Defence Force or Irish Army for that matter,
 

Stormbringer

Super Active Member
#16
Let`s remember that besides almost every successful man there stands a devoted woman. Respect for you, Mrs Greum, and good luck! The Legion is not a reality show, it`s an adventure.
 
#20
Hi Pauline and welcome,

I see you opened your own account on cervens.net :) It's nice to have another female onboard - welcome.

However difficult it is for your beau to leave his family, it's even more difficult raising 2 children and 1 on the way as a single parent - my blessings go out to you. 5 years of single parenting with 3 children is a challenge, no, it sounds like love bordering on insanity....smile. (I became a single parent after loosing my husband, so I've been there, done that and would rather not have the single parent experience again...it's a bitch especially if you have boys, having a positive male role model in their life is extremely important)

My personal opinion is that a balanced family is a two parent family, however, life doesn't always turn out the way we plan so we do what is necessary.

Let's grab a cocktail in the 'Ladies Corner' talk to you soon.
 

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