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Thread: The rules from the male side

  1. #1
    BBS Moderator Major Forum Poster joette's Avatar
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    The rules from the male side

    we always hear " the rules " from the female side.



    Now here are the rules from the male side.

    These are our rules!
    Please note: These are all numbered "1 " on purpose!

    1. Men are not mind readers.( first & foremost rule)

    1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl.

    If it's up, put it
    down. We need it up, you need it down.


    You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.



    1. Sunday sports, it's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.


    Let it be.



    1. Crying is blackmail.


    1. Ask for what you want.
    Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do
    not work!

    Strong hints do not work!

    Obvious hints do not work!

    Just say it!

    1. Yes and no are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.


    1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.
    That's
    what we do.


    Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.



    1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.

    In
    fact, all comments become null and
    void after 7 days.



    1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.



    1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways
    makes you sad or angry, we meant
    the other one.





    1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it
    done. Not both.

    If you already know
    best how to do it, just do it yourself.





    1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
    commercials.



    1. Christopher columbus did not need directions and neither do we.


    1. All men see in only 16 colors, like windows default settings.
    Peach,
    for example, is a fruit, not a color.


    Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.



    1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.



    1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like
    nothing's wrong.

    We know you are lying,
    but it is just not worth the hassle.





    1.If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer
    you don't want to hear.



    1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...
    Really .




    1.Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
    discuss such topics as football or hockey.


    1. You have enough clothes.



    1. You have too many shoes.

    1. I am in shape.
    Round is a shape!

    Thank you for reading this.



    Yes, i know, i have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men
    really don't mind that? It's like camping.
    It is the soldier, not the priest, who protects freedom of religion; the soldier, not the journalist, who protects freedom of speech. History teaches that a society that does not value its warriors will be destroyed by a society that does

  2. #2
    Member crrr's Avatar
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    Re: The rules from the male side

    didn't Columbus find the wrong continent ?

  3. #3
    BBS Moderator Major Forum Poster joette's Avatar
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    Re: The rules from the male side

    Quote Originally Posted by crrr View Post
    didn't Columbus find the wrong continent ?
    LOL he didn't ask directions.
    It is the soldier, not the priest, who protects freedom of religion; the soldier, not the journalist, who protects freedom of speech. History teaches that a society that does not value its warriors will be destroyed by a society that does

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    Member bloodyB's Avatar
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    Re: The rules from the male side

    hahaha n1. Really its a jewl!

  5. #5
    BBS Moderator Major Forum Poster joette's Avatar
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    Re: The rules from the male side

    Quote Originally Posted by bloodyB View Post
    hahaha n1. Really its a jewl!
    which #1 haha
    It is the soldier, not the priest, who protects freedom of religion; the soldier, not the journalist, who protects freedom of speech. History teaches that a society that does not value its warriors will be destroyed by a society that does

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    Hyper Active Member Major Forum Poster libertypo's Avatar
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    Re: The rules from the male side

    Muhahaha. This is a masterpiece
    "I'm anus-peptic, phrasmotic, even compunctious to have caused you such pericombobulation." - Blackadder adressing Dr. Samuel Johnson

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