A serious choice.

[RMD]

To continue on from another recent thread where the topic of "Duty" was briefly discussed, I now feel the need to ask the question, or at least understand my own nagging thoughts, why do I feel torn, utterly selfish, for wanting to leave & apply to join la Legion in the pursuit of some sort of redemption, tradition even, or maybe just the chance of a brighter future, when the one expense I see is the future of my younger Brother.

Should I accept my lot, knuckle down here in Oz & create something strong (a foundation/base/home) for my Brothers well-being & growth & hope that he makes the most at the expense of my dreams, with the knowledge I have to give I think I can do it.

Lately my Brother has gotten into some serious trouble (at home & in & out of school). This is a result/reaction to his Mother (my Mother) & his Fathers divorce. This is my Mothers second marriage, & when I was of a similar age my Parents divorced too & I myself lashed out in an almost identical manner to my young Bro. Luckily for me I had a very strong Father who was quick to kick my arse & remind me of my place. & I guess my Mother was also a much more vigilant & capable Mother than she is today & she too had an impression on me that for good or bad, kept me from the very worst.

My Brothers Father is a very weak man, a drug user & a serious criminal. I am seriously concerned for my Bro's safety & well being. I have had many altercations with this 'Man' & I can't express how sad it makes me to think of my Bro alone in what will, most certainly be, in the coming years, a time of need. It's my duty to be available to him, to teach him what my Father taught me.

Can I just ask the question what others would do in my situation. Have others had to make a similar, or even an identical choice of one over the other? Have they regretted either? & why? Or just any sort of an opinion or advice. I know it's a bit strange, but I've nothing to feel ashamed of here so I don't think, or hope it won't come across as weird (asking virtual strangers for advice).

Rob.

[Scouser]

You stay at home Rob - sign your bro up for the Legion

[mikem]

I still think you can join the legion, setting an example for your brother. Tell him why your joining, explain to him. I was having a similar discussion with one of my friends about this kind of thing, but it all comes down to what is best for you.

I've applied for the British Army twice, and got in twice. Both times I pulled out a week or 2 before swearing my oath. A couple years on I still totally regret it. I won't go into details on what reasons were, but its similar to yours in retrospect, the second time at least anyway.

You have one life, don't live it with a regret that will stay with you for the remainder. Your brother is his own person, there is no guarantee that even if you stay, he won't find his way to drugs etc himself, nor will he stop 'rebelling' (if i'm reading the situation correct).

Personally, i'd still go to the legion and take my chances. If you don't get in and its a permanet rejection, then work on stuff back at home, knowing that you gave it your best shot and not regretting it. You need to do whats best for you I think.

[corvee de chotte]

I would have someone remove the problem,then you can both get on with your lives ,procrastination leads to lost opportunity and eventually mediocrity ,young skywalker

[RMD]

@Scouser. You're a funny fecker huh Scous?

@Mikem. All true mate. Cheers. But I forgot to mention that my Bro is only ten years old. A very impressionable age & he needs a strong male figure in his life. I feel as though I would be abandoning him at a very crucial stage.

@Corvee. Ha. I have mentioned this to my mother. No dice. Procrastination is a killer.

[flash010]

it,s some thing only you can think out mate.
and you are right you have nothing to be ashamed of your bro has a lot of growing up to do
or will end up in jail alot .
its a hard one but you seemed switched on i think you will know the right thing to do

[veteranlouisianne]

Rob that's hard. Age 39 I was writing on Lookout Mountain when I started researching the FFL which I hadn't heard of since comic books. I wrote the website and got a reply, but didn't head to France though I did have money then. I am 45 - Reserves/USA will take up to age 47. Don't ever give up hope and motion. You seem like an earnest fellow, a good guy, just don't think too much, like I do or you will end up similar to an unpublished writer. Grab your bro if he's old enough, or when, and you both head to Aubagne = my 2 cents.

[Desefortunadamente]

That's a tough situation, and everybody here on the forum can give you advice, but it will ultimately be your decision.

Now I feel that I can input something (have a very similar situation, my bro is 17 though). I understand that he is very young and impressionable. But it's up to you as the older sibling to set an example, because I know for a fact that the younger sibling always looks up to the older sibling (me having an older bro as well). What you do and say will have a significant impact on him, especially now at this impressionable age.

I know that all you want is to guide him and shield him from the dismal reality that life can be, but one day, he'll have to face that reality, whether you like it or not. Speak to him a lot, about doing the right thing, and trust that he will make the right decisions on his own.

You presumably have one opportunity to do something unique with a very short window of time, so you have to take a step back and analyze the situation. You'll find the answer, it's simply a question of time mate.

[SeanG]

To continue on from another recent thread where the topic of "Duty" was briefly discussed, I now feel the need to ask the question, or at least understand my own nagging thoughts, why do I feel torn, utterly selfish, for wanting to leave & apply to join la Legion in the pursuit of some sort of redemption, tradition even, or maybe just the chance of a brighter future, when the one expense I see is the future of my younger Brother.

Should I accept my lot, knuckle down here in Oz & create something strong (a foundation/base/home) for my Brothers well-being & growth & hope that he makes the most at the expense of my dreams, with the knowledge I have to give I think I can do it.

Lately my Brother has gotten into some serious trouble (at home & in & out of school). This is a result/reaction to his Mother (my Mother) & his Fathers divorce. This is my Mothers second marriage, & when I was of a similar age my Parents divorced too & I myself lashed out in an almost identical manner to my young Bro. Luckily for me I had a very strong Father who was quick to kick my arse & remind me of my place. & I guess my Mother was also a much more vigilant & capable Mother than she is today & she too had an impression on me that for good or bad, kept me from the very worst.

My Brothers Father is a very weak man, a drug user & a serious criminal. I am seriously concerned for my Bro's safety & well being. I have had many altercations with this 'Man' & I can't express how sad it makes me to think of my Bro alone in what will, most certainly be, in the coming years, a time of need. It's my duty to be available to him, to teach him what my Father taught me.

Can I just ask the question what others would do in my situation. Have others had to make a similar, or even an identical choice of one over the other? Have they regretted either? & why? Or just any sort of an opinion or advice. I know it's a bit strange, but I've nothing to feel ashamed of here so I don't think, or hope it won't come across as weird (asking virtual strangers for advice).

Rob.

This will be on your mind constantly, my advice............................. STAY

[mammikoura]

okay now I only read like half of the first post... and I think it's enough.

If you are having these kinds of thoughts then stay away from the legion. Seriously, you are sitting back home on your computer and you are already wondering if it's the right choise, and you have a good reason for those thoughts. If you choose to join you need to be sure that it's the right thing to do, and only you can know that.

[Mugur]

Can I just ask the question what others would do in my situation. Have others had to make a similar, or even an identical choice of one over the other? Have they regretted either? & why? Or just any sort of an opinion or advice. I know it's a bit strange, but I've nothing to feel ashamed of here so I don't think, or hope it won't come across as weird (asking virtual strangers for advice). Rob.

Personaly i dont know if this can be answered like a question, but from my own experience of life (like most of you know, i have 42 yo now) every body have his own guardian engel. You, like a big brother just need to show the right path. Like Jesus said "dont give to the man a fish today, teach him to fishing for ever" (something like that, dont know to translate into english). So man...dont let the others to show the right way, think with your own heart, do what your heart tell you to do. In this way you will never blame nobody for your action.
My personaly advise for you: tell your little bro what is good and what is wrong in life, show him the way, and do what you have to
do.
Please dont blame me, is just what i will do if i were in his place

Later Edit: your bro is 10 huh? I remember about me when my mom divorce of my father becouse of drinking problem, and she told us (to me and my 1,5 years old bro) what is good and what is wrong. She told us just: dont do y, dont do x becouse i dont have time to come after you in corectional school. And that was enough for us. Peoples can grow up without a father just need somebody to show them the real way. Or maybe is other times now, excuse me if i am wrong!

[Legion0715]

Your brother needs you, the Legion does not.

[Stoeng]

You are inventing yourself excuses.

[Drew2]

You got one reason to stay and it might be one too many Robbo.

[Kronenberg]

Yo Rob,
We've been through this subject a bit in our PMs already - but nothing as gruff as your posting.

Any Legionnaire on here will confirm to you that if your days are constantly being eaten by regrets or worry about the life you left behind you will either fcuk up or desert. You will be thousands of miles away from him, with very restricted ability to contact him - and even if you did - and he asked you to come home - what are you going to do?

It's the old story about which of your kids you will sacrifice to a murderer to save the other. There is no way out of it...

The Legion is no tougher than any other army, but the fact that you will not understand 10% of what is being said to you for the first 6 or 7 months, and the fact that it really does seem like a prison for many different reasons during the first 24 months, this may be too much for you to take.

For all of the above reasons, Legionnaires "turn the page" when they go in. Forget the past - it's over, and hope you may be able to pick up the pieces when you get out.

If you can't buy into that - forget it.