Treasure those you love... (RIP Mom...)

[Nickfury]

Life is too short.

I can't sleep, I don't know what to do right now... I just need to write something down...

I had been staying with my mother for a few days after I had some surgery done last week. She has been in very poor health for number of years and steadily declining. Even still she always tries to help me or make sure I was fed and was always supportive of me...

Tonight she was watching TV, she often falls asleep in the recliner watching her favorite shows.

I didn't bother her and let her sleep, I figured she needed her rest. She has been having trouble sleeping at night. So I was working on the computer in the other room, I went to go wake her up so she could move to the bed and sleep. But my mom had passed away.

I am in shock. I have had so many people come and go tonight...so many phone calls...strangers in and out of the house.... and they have taken her away to the Funeral home. I am all alone to think about the wonderful person who was my mother....

Please treasure every moment you get with those in your family and anyone you love and care about. I wish I had told her I loved her today, or held her hand today.
I had been mildly upset with her today because I thought she wasn't being as vigilant about her health and diet. I wanted her to take better care of her self...because I love her and wanted her to be here a lot longer...

I can second guess myself and today...but it is really pointless...I wish I had said or done a few things differently today or the last few days, been a little warmer and more loving...said a few more kind words.

But in the end I was here everyday to help her out and to try and make her life easier, to care for her. I know she loved me...I just wish I had said it more. We spent the last few days hanging out since I had my surgery, watching "Rome" on dvd, eating ice cream, I was helping her around the house...

Please, please treasure each moment with those you love, say kind words, laugh more, forgive more, listen more, hug more, smile more....

Life is short.

And please...say a prayer for my mother, she was a devout Catholic...I have to believe she is in a better place and no longer in pain or suffering through such poor health. She was a wonderful woman.

I am just devastated...

Nick

[Aurelie3]

I'm so sorry Nick, my thoughts are with you right now.

[NonZeroChance]

My condolences, man.

I'm unfamiliar with the appropriate Catholic prayers and ceremonies. Perhaps her church can hold a mass in her name or something of that nature?

[Miette]

Oh Nick, I am so sorry for you.
Your loss most be monumental. But what a way to go. Peacefully falling asleep with your son in the house with you. That's a nice way to go for an old lady.
I will pray for your mum. RIP

[Cpl K]

At least you were there Nick......

Trust me she is in a better place now.

May she R.I.P...

Kieron

[joette]

I'm so sorry Nick! My condolences to you and your family.

[Mise]

I'm sorry for your trouble Nick. It is small comfort but she passed peacefully with you at home. We all have things we think we should have said to people and people always will. From what I have seen of you here, she made a good job of you and if she was anything like my mum she had made her peace with God long ago and been praying for that great Irish Catholic thing THE HAPPY DEATH. I think she got what she would have prayed for many times, you at home and to slip away peacefully.

[voltigeur]

Sorry for your loss Nick my sincerest condolences.

[0341Grunt]

My sincere condolences,

May she Rest In Peace

[Nickfury]

Just want to thank everyone for your kind words and prayers..

I have been going crazy...haven't slept, wandering around talking to the walls, crying...laughing at good memories..., I am the only family in town...but my dad is flying here in a matter of hours....
We will sort things out...

I am losing it and he will help keep me focused...

thank you...

[Chas]

Nick,

Sincere condolences. May your beloved mother rest in peace. You can rest easy that you were with her in her passing.

Yours aye,

Chas.

[Eagle eye]

...NickFury, I've followed your e-brotherhood in this BBS over the years...and my condolences and heart goes out to you...you spent the last days of your mother's life together with her and this - you will find - will give you great solace...

You ARE SO VERY RIGHT....cherish those who raised you as decent - or at least tried - and don't take them for granted...those whom you love and spend every minute as if it was a last parting moment...and remember: in the end, we will all be together with those we loved and liked....Best wishes and deepest condoleances....RIP to your beloved Mum...

[Samtoo]

Nick, My condolences to you and your family. To you I say count your blessings...think not of what you could have said or what you should have said. Life is a process, no one gets out alive. She left in a peaceful manner with her son...be grateful for that. Take care, Nick....Rest in peace, mama.

[russjt]

Nick , Im so sorry to hear of your news .

My heart and thoughts go out to you .

I had a similar experience with my mother , we were both living togther , she died of cancer , people were coming and going , even people I know that she didnt like ! which I know would have wound her up !

Take care man , write me any time .

Russell.

[bolshoi]

I send my sincerest condolences Nick.

I believe that the care and consideration that you gave your mother is a testament to your love for her. Even your frustration was born out of love. Hopefully you will forget your regrets, so you can remember and take comfort in the joys of your lives together.

Requiescat in pace


bolshoi

[Tom_G]

Nick,
I really was saddened to read this. I am only glad that you were there when this all occured-you are lucky in that respect. God Bless your Mother and you during these tough times. You have been nothing but an asset to this BBS and we are all better for it.
Best to your family
Tom

[boss]

Nick

I just discovered your post : ok, we never met, but be sure that your 'e-friends' and members of this bbs can understand and share your sadness... and think that these friends are real, living people, not just nicknames on this board ....

Nick, my wife and me want to support you ...

one last word : people are really dead when nobody remember them... if you think of your mother, she is not dead, read it: SHE IS NOT DEAD, she will be only if you don't remember her ...

and yes you are right, we never treasure enough those we love ( or maybe we forget that we love 'em?)

[flash010]

nick she knew you loved her and that you only wanted the best for her stop knocking your self out with what if.
if she is watching she wont want to see you beat your self up if you need to talk get it out your system we are all here for you.
take care bro and just remember the good times
and she,ll live on in you.
flash..... richard

[andy bannerman]

Nick
My thoughts are with you and yor family right now .I hope that in time you will allways remember that no matter what she loved you 100% . I know a little of what you are going through right now and can tell you it does get better with each passing day and you will allways remember the good times ..

Take care mate

Andy

[larriso]

sorry to hear of your loss nick....my prayers are with you

[joette]

Nick wanted me to pass along this message....


"I was so happy to see all the responses on Cervens...I really feel it is like a bit of a family there...I may not post for a while but I am just so appreciate of what everyone had to say and that they took the time to write..."
He has a lot of things to take care of and sort through right now. He may not post for awhile.



take care Nick.We all will be thinking about you.

[Jean]

Sorry to hear about your mom Nick. Stop beating yourself over it it doesnt help much. Were never prepared for death no one is i guess. Just focus on the good things you remember about her the good memories. Things will get better as time goes on.

Thanks for the advice. I will talk to my own parents more from now on.

[Rapace]

Josh,

Just seen this thread by accident. I'm sincerely shocked at learning your mother passed away. Strange how on the internet we can all believe we are immortal and suddenly 'real life' comes back to remind us who we are.
At least, she died peacefully. Meagre consolation, I know, but in those tragic circumstances you need to find some light to keep hoping.
My condolences.

[max]

Can see you are hurting Nick . one thing time is a great healer . remember all the good times . may she R.I.P

[Bags]

Nick I am so very sorry to hear of the very sad loss of your mother, my thoughts & prays are with you & your family at this very sad time.

Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there, I do not sleep
I am a 1,000 winds that blow
I am the diamond glints on snow
I am the sun on ripened grain
I am the gentle autumn rain
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled light
I am the soft star that shines at night
Do not stand at my grave and cry
I am not there; I did not die.

[Venus]

Nick

So sorry to hear of your mum's passing. She knows you loved her - you were there with her when she died, watched movies and ate ice cream with her in the days before. Love does not always have to be spoken, actions speak louder.
As others have said it does seem as if your heart is breaking but it does ease and sometimes talking about the person makes it easier. You will have your good days and your bad days but you'll get through it. Remembering the good times with her means she is always there in your heart and in you.
Take care

Eileen

[serge]

My sincerest condolences Nick, I am certain that your mother will forever live in the hearts and memories of those who had the privelage to know her.

Please take strength and some small solace in the knowledge that the thoughts of a great many people throughout the world are with you at this time.

[Elias]

Hello Nick,

It must be very hard. I personally have never had to endure the suffering of losing a family member, I hope you stay focused Nick. If you ever feel lonely, and you want to talk to someone, remember here at the Legion forum we will all speak to you!

Good luck in life Nick!

[Nickfury]

I just want to thank all of you, I can't tell you how much this means to me to have you all write.
One reason this site feels like a good place with friends...

We had our memorial service on Wednesday. A nice Catholic service that would have made her happy, the Priest was a wonderful guy, he really helped, he is a very old man, but so great. He had a long walk with us after in the gardens/forested retreat center next to the Church. Then we had lunch together in the beautiful facility where the priests live. Waterfalls and gardens and so many trees...I think my mom would have been happy.

I spoke for maybe 10-15 minutes about my mom...We were close as she raised my brother and I all by herself. She grew up in a working class Irish and German American family, unfortunately too much alcoholism and abuse at home. She left young, had us, and raised us alone, but we grew up with love and support, we didn't always have money, times were hard. But we never had to face the turmoil at home that she did growing up. She wanted to make sure we had a better life than her.

Speaking about her in front of everyone was hard, I had to stop frequently because I was overcome with emotion, but it just felt good to share stories of my mom and tell everyone more about her, so they would know what a good person she was and how she was before she was sick, when I was growing up.

I am almost done cleaning out the house...put things in storage, can't help feeling like I should wake up from a bad dream, cleaning out her home was one of the worst things...it was my safe haven to come back and visit mom and relax in a beautiful, peaceful place.

It goes without saying that I miss her. There is a void in my and my brother's life. But I am happy she is no longer suffering, she was horribly sick for so long. I am thankful I was able to spend these final months with her, and the last week of her life I was there everyday.
I just will try to live a life that would make her proud of me.
I leave the USA for Korea again to work on Monday...things are happening fast but there is no helping it. It helps me to stay busy...

Thank you all again. You guys are wonderful and it meant a lot to me that you took the time to write.

Nick

[RadioTex]

Nick, My heartfelt condolences are sent to you this day. I know you will come through this in your own way. Be strong , my friend. Tex Harrison

[Stranger]

rest in peace

[jackbeton]

sorry for your loss Nick , my condolences , may she rest in peace.

[repman86]

Life is too short.

I can't sleep, I don't know what to do right now... I just need to write something down...

I had been staying with my mother for a few days after I had some surgery done last week. She has been in very poor health for number of years and steadily declining. Even still she always tries to help me or make sure I was fed and was always supportive of me...

Tonight she was watching TV, she often falls asleep in the recliner watching her favorite shows.

I didn't bother her and let her sleep, I figured she needed her rest. She has been having trouble sleeping at night. So I was working on the computer in the other room, I went to go wake her up so she could move to the bed and sleep. But my mom had passed away.

I am in shock. I have had so many people come and go tonight...so many phone calls...strangers in and out of the house.... and they have taken her away to the Funeral home. I am all alone to think about the wonderful person who was my mother....

Please treasure every moment you get with those in your family and anyone you love and care about. I wish I had told her I loved her today, or held her hand today.
I had been mildly upset with her today because I thought she wasn't being as vigilant about her health and diet. I wanted her to take better care of her self...because I love her and wanted her to be here a lot longer...

I can second guess myself and today...but it is really pointless...I wish I had said or done a few things differently today or the last few days, been a little warmer and more loving...said a few more kind words.

But in the end I was here everyday to help her out and to try and make her life easier, to care for her. I know she loved me...I just wish I had said it more. We spent the last few days hanging out since I had my surgery, watching "Rome" on dvd, eating ice cream, I was helping her around the house...

Please, please treasure each moment with those you love, say kind words, laugh more, forgive more, listen more, hug more, smile more....

Life is short.

And please...say a prayer for my mother, she was a devout Catholic...I have to believe she is in a better place and no longer in pain or suffering through such poor health. She was a wonderful woman.

I am just devastated...

Nick

Hey Nick,
Just this moment read this, my thoughts are with you man. I do know what your going through as do a few other memberson this forum. And I can hope I speak for everyone when I say, If you need to pm someone for a chat im sure any of us would oblige. You treasure yor memories mate,
God Rest Her Soul.
xx

[Nickfury]

Thanks Repman Jack and Stranger...though this thread was resurrected after over a year.
My mom passed away about 14 months ago now...I miss her just the same, but time does help take away some of the pain. Now I try to remember all the good times and focus on living in a way that she would be proud of.
Thanks again...

[flash010]

nick were all sure she is proud of you your doing good m8

[Nickfury]

Thanks Flash....

[Martin Scott]

Hail Mary.full of grace.
The Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women.
And Blessed is the fruit of thy womb Jesus.
Holy Mary Mother of God.
Pray for our sinners.
Now and the Hour of our death.
Amen.
Nick the whole family is devistated by your lose,All our prayers and thoughts are with you at this time.....................Rest In Peace

Martin.
Nick if you ever need anybody to talk to were all here for you man.