MLA 101 Gruntese

[Eagle eye]

This is a "high-flying" corporate course for beginners in Gruntenese with 6 credits towards your Grade Point Average (GPA).

Gruntenese: desperate, rasping style of the silent thoughts in the life of FFL legionnaires and other soldiers in the world among at most times desperate, ranting individuals trying to settle a score with the world through you or others around them in at times cold, harsh, hard, merciless environment...
EXAMPLE of GRUNTENESE:

Talking about bleach (to disinfect blood split after knifing someone)...:

"....I getz a taele to telle. Friggin clening in billits and caeptens inpection ta 1100 on friggin samedi merning. Wez divysed a ful prof plen tda beat al. Wez mix blech (sodium hypoc..wuzever.) "Javel" wit a nitret or ather clenin liqued never mynd the ferking name jest rememberid the brend name wuz ged enuf. Tihs lead to a kemikal reèction: "en suite" er toute zuite (i dent knew frenz ged enuf). Anuwayz, the kemikal réèction lead to a CLEUD of CS gaxz or uther 'en chamber' et touz zuite.

Wez clozed the deer en wez heng our feces ut of the windew like entil jest afore the caeptens keme up the caempani staers. teh onli thinge wez laked wus gaxz mesks to cap ti al. Aniwez, this irritent rééction wus ged enuf fer he deidn't stey leng to inpection wiz teers ferming up."

Corrected version:

"I got a tale to tell. Frigging billet cleaning and captain’s inspection at 1100 on frigging Saturday morning. We devised a full-proof plan that BEAT ALL. We’d mixed bleach (sodium hypoc…whatever) “Javel” with nitrate and another cleaning liquid, never mind the ferking name, just remembering the brand name was good enough. This led to a chemical reaction: “en suite” or tout de suite / I don’t know French well enough. Anyway, the chemical reaction led to a CLOUD of CS gas or other (fumes) 'en chambre' and tout de suite.

We closed the door and hung our heads out of the window until just before the captain came up the company stairs. He only thing we lacked was gaz masks to cap it all. Anyway, this irritant reaction was good enough for he didn’t stay long to inspect with tears forming up.”

GENERAL GUIDELINES for Gruntese:

This personal style of story-telling has no hard-fast or consistent rules but is rather punctuated by characteristics that are specific to each individual writer with a literate or semi-literate approach. The above style is barely semi-literate. Thank God I didn't have to write/speak English gruntese in the FFL. :)

Other variations are therefore possible: Gruntese is a bit like the "charades" game: it is written in 'sounds like' form in your spoken accent with basic spelling mistakes, for example, 'nad' for 'and', 'ni' for 'in', 'no' for 'on', 'ot' for 'to', 'os' for 'so', 'taht/htat' for 'that', 'rof' for 'for' nad os forth...

Dipthongs are also useful in Gruntese: 'ae', 'ai', 'ei', 'ie', 'ou', au, as in 'baed' for 'bad', 'bainette' for 'bayonet', 'leit' for 'late', 'geive' for 'give'. 'goud' for 'good' nad os no. You can even invent a dipthong, that is, 'ua' as in 'tuat' for 'twat'....So, pretty much anything at your discretion.

Mick (in China),
Post yer short tale about home-made CS gas in Oz Army and in Gruntenese over 'ere, mate. Hopefully, other enterprising members will write their military or non-military tales and adventures in armies all over the globe....

OTHERS, PLEASE DO TRY TO WRITE GRUNTENESE....

[BobW]

(Had thought those posts were a combination of Cockney English and High German mit or nacht mit el French terms).

GIT EM ALL UP, NOW!!!! (Gruntese for "Bonjour" or any other greeting of the day).

It's not just in the French Foreign Legion and not just in the lower ranks. I've run into Gruntese in documents and message traffic. I think it has roots in the use of abbreviations (they are not all official or standardized), the use of slang terms, the use of special words....all combined with people showing up in the military without being able to clearly communicate in basic talking.

"Mike Foxtrot the UN "
Translation: Mother F*** the UN reg [Disregard it; comply only with VOCO [verbal orders of Commanding Officer] until notified otherwise.

"What the f*** over".
Translation: Who cares!!

Meeting up on the hippo is the same as meeting up on the Herc. Different slang names for the C-130 Hercules aircraft.

A "coffin"
Translation: a helicopter; also applicable to an armored personnel carrier

"He's a BMF always with an Arkansas toothpick and on the selection list for light chicken"
Translation: He's a bad mother F***er, with a large knife on his webgear and will soon be promoted to Lt Col.

"Wait one, over" This actually official radio term changed into slang both for gruntese conversation and for the informal rank status found in any large organization.
Translation: Wait a couple of moments and then I will reply if a junior soldiertransmitting. Wait a minute if a new recruit-following the manual exactly as written. It also means will contact you later if the speaker is high-level or important or a radio operator for someone who is high-level or important. In routine conversation, it can mean "yes, I'll get you a copy of that magazine with her in it".

None of this gruntese is standard from my experience. American Marines have it tough because they must learn different words for the same thing - in English - well before they get experience and start to deal with allied units.
Eg, land warfare units like the Legion know the meaning of =azumeth=. American Marines - and this is probably true universally eg SAS-SBS, French Marines-French Army, etc. The barnicle folks (naval/maritime) use the word =bearing=.

I've gone from slick sleeve to mosquito wings to the don't have tah work for a livin' crowd. After some more mud and a brew or 2 later, -depending on comments- might get out my list of translated terms from the Arabic to American English.

Meanwhile, remember what Kipling said when push comes to shove; "Thank Gad fur th' guns". All those VC widow-makers do wonders for the soul.

Wait one, over.

BobW

[Eagle eye]

I'd love to hear episodes of your Tet vet days in Gruntese or is it Gruntenese ?...beter lieve it to the akadmecis ta decide witch one...

[Mick]

Heda imialr ting appen n'our shit'rs o'ce. Nu blok wez clenin da craperz n mix'dup som werd lend ov sht....all I'eard wez da pop sond an thz blok boltin don da all wif teaz,snot,an oth'r sht porin outof evry ole in is hed. supid fuker mix'dup omeade CS gaz on da chance (mee tink!) notsur owhe didit ut e ad a ice nite eepling n'der da twinkles ntil da aer ear'dup...xcept da nu blok he'ada ice nite nside...ocked n'da boxoom...uring da nite mus'of ithis faz inta da wall couplava tim's tying ta gitout...wel datz wat he faz ook'd lik n da am.
well thats what his face looked like in the morning!
eers Mick

Had a similar thing happen in our shitters once. New bloke was cleaning the crappers and mixed up some weird blend of stit....all I heard was a pop sound and this bloke running down the hall with tears,snot and other shit poring out of every hole in his head...stupid ****er mixed up home CS gas by accident (I think!) I don't know how he did it but we had a nice night sleeping under the stars until the air cleared up...except for new bloke he had a nice night inside...locked in a box room...during the night he must of hit his face into a wall few times trying to get out....well thats what his face looked like in the morning!
Cheers Mick

[Mick]

O doz memba un ale..a vechil ol'over n aflica...blok gita gat oow hiz gut n olmist ot hiz azz...ya coud ust se da flas sup'ezzr tyin ta pok too...da wer unny!...ot 4 him ut mee b eely piz me aughin...etta he dem mee!...me git old" doc cum ick da blok git a gat thoo im" mee saz "wat da fuk" Ow da fuk he b do dat!" Unny ay...dat waz da ood ay ov'r dare...onlee un cas ta eal wif!

Oh I do remember one tale...a vehicle roll over in Africa...guy got a rifle barrel thought his gut and almost out his ass...ya could just see the flash supressor trying to poke through....now that was funny!...not for him but nearly pissed myself laughin...better him them me! I got told "hey doc come quick a bloke has got a gat though him" I said "what the ****" How **** did manage that! Funny day...that was a good day over there...only one casualty to deal with!

Hmm me b tink tiz gitn beta!

[Eagle eye]

Tank goed fer yer trenslatiens fer atherwhyse wee'd hav ta stert an edvanced corse ni gruntenese sonest: that's MLA 301 Gruntese worth 8 credits towards your GPA... :)

[Mick]

Gat= a rifle/carbine
Goffer= a can of soft drink/soda
Gumpy bar= chocolate bar/Snickers Bar etc
Numptie= an idiot
Newbie/Lid/Rio= the new bloke
Blow Rag(1)/Sock= A hand to gland combat pleasure cleaning device
Blow Rag (2)= a camp follower
Dig= A digger/Aussie soldier
Durrie= a smoke
BFA= Big Fat Ass
NFA= No F**king Idea
CDF= Common Dog F**k or common sence
Widow Maker= Dead wood falling from a gum tree( don't put your farter near them)
Farter/Gonk Roll= Your sleeping kit/bivie bag/sleeping bag etc
Sniper Bait= An idiot or officer or both!
Chocco= An army reservist
Splat cat= member of 3RAR (Para)
Donkey F**ker= member of 1RAR
Shirt lifter= a medic(this was me)
Doc= a good medic (then after sorting a few of them grunts)
WOFTAM= Waste of time and f**ken money
Oxygen thief= A WOFTAM like soldier

There are more but thanks to Eagle eye me b typin half of diz in gruntenese me b knckered now

[Beau-Sheep]

Laugh,

Had a funny when our boss convinced his boss that all the old rockets from the old LRAC (no name, never used it) could be given to the lads to make into booby traps, the idea was simple, take two lengths of wood, nail em together along the length at a right angle, place the make shit launcher in a tree and aim the rocket at the road, take one Leatherman Wave and snip of the one pin plug, splice the wires and rig up a safety switch, attach to a PP11 radio battery and hey presto, anti tank rockets from heaven.

One by one we
a. Check the switch from the last user, make safe
b. Climb tree
c. Cut off plug and splice the wires
d. Leave the tree
e. Shout warning and pull the switch

All was well until one sleepy camper forgot to include item a.
He climbed the tree, cut off the plug, spliced the wires joined one wire and then the... BANG!!!!
He did not need to climb down the tree, he was launched from the ****er, when he landed face down in the dirt the only thing we heard was
"mes coilles, mes coilles" (wrongly spelled)
"my balls, my balls"
I laughed for a month, he walked funny for six.

[BobW]

Bonjour Eagle Eye,

I've heard it both as gruntese and gruntenese. Believe there are a couple of books on military language.

Re Tet; this was a bona fide "Aw, shucks, it was nothing sort of thing."
Prior to Tet, the counterinsurgency type of operations were highly restricted. We had the free fire zones and no fire zones along with the rules of engagement. Tet was the change. The Viet Cong attack was so large at the same time throughout the country, they made the major and perhaps only mistake on their record.

The US Army had 3 attributes; 1. massive firepower, 2. directable and controllable firepower, and 3. well-developed (for the time) joint and unified command maneuvers.

I remember near no sleep for a week-from a fading memory I don't believe the combat opns were over a week. In a sense-and this must be understood from my perspective-Tet was easier than the countersurgency operations of playing hide and seek with the VC who could cross over into Cambodia without worry of being followed. (I was US Army. There were MACV units which could do this but we had restrictions.).

This was one of the last WWII type big battles of the Army. One indicator of the intensity (to the US advantage);night battles could continue until the daylight hours.

A couple of my personal lessons learned;

If involved with a light machine gun; I was; at time M60 in 7.62 NATO; always carry 2 asbestos mittens to change the barrel. Only 1 is issued and this was surely a staff decision at some engineering lab. In the field, it doesn't work that way.

If involved with a heavy machine gun; at the time this was the M2 50 cal; before doing anything else, get a timing gage and carry it around forever. When busy, they will not be found.

Always-not sometimes-always carry a tweezers. Splinters from wood, metal, etc can interfere too much with personal well-being when thinking and strength determine survival. I knew this from an ancien who said tweezers and pliers are a must and they won't be issued. I listened. I'm here now.

Above also relates to my strict abhorrence to lugging around any extra weight not considered critical.

I'm leaving a lot out on purpose. Just finished a 6 month election campaign on this side of the pond where we proved to the American people we weren't running around like Genghis Khan killing babies.

After the Tet Offensive, it was the safest time to be out in the thorns.

Amities,
BobW

[Eagle eye]

Can you post an extract of 'A day in the life of BobW' in Vietnam in a difficult situation with/without difficult people in Gruntese ? It may lead you to unlock memories that you might not be able to normally share with others....

[BobW]

Bonjour Eagle Eye,

No; that's one of the reasons I keep much to myself except within a couple of Viet Vet organizations I belong to.

Amities,
BobW

[Eagle eye]

OK. It was a different war in a different world.
Can you explain the acronym MACV in your penultimate post ?
PS Some of the sensitive events are not mentioned by some including myself. But there are non-sensitive events and periods which do not really matter.

[ace_compton]

eagle eye, yur male bxo si feul, as fir yer laist misige, hirs mai rply; aye fink aye no wit yo meen, yo haft to spel fings foneticaly, mayb bo-shep shud rite hiz buk in gruntese

[Eagle eye]

Wel dune, axe crumptun, i thniks yer gat teh dirft. Dno't fergte teh suitchen of leter oredr ni echa ured. thaxns fer t'e meilbax werning...Biau-Sheip si writin 'is bek ni 'literet gruntese' anlik ers.
"hey asswipe, your new job is donkey!"Just collating from another thread: "Talking about donkeys nad noobs, wihle wes duwn in Nimes fro Cameorne '97, dering regi friggin parede, teh rigimental dunkei an mescet pat on a 'erd no jest in fretn of the triben fillid with ledies. He hed a long rigimental dunkei kaver till is nees bat whne the wend piked it ap hsi leng, leng tu metre noob and bestiel "schwing" shoud...Col. D. netx to mi said: "wez needs te bye TAPANARD a seck (blow rag-1) to covre ti. Hez smeilt oestreone by hsi naz..." Howzabt taht fro gruntenese in from: a leng, leng wey ot go in koentnet tho...." :D

I won't provide a translation for fear of offending ladies' eyes on this board... :p

[BobW]

Bonjour Eagle Eye and all,

I broke the rule by not defining abbreviations and acronyms used in posts.

Re MACV; Military Assistance Command, Vietnam

Explaination: Most of the soldiers in Vietnam were in USARV, US Army, Vietnam. Senator Kerry, who ran against Pres Bush for president last month, was in the US Navy equivilant to USARV. The Air Force had a similiar organization, all 3 being within the USARV umbrella.

MACV was completely different and special. All Special Forces were in MACV, along with certain military intelligence and related organizations.
These were the people who could cross into Cambodia and Laos.

Salutations,
BobW

[Eagle eye]

I broke the rule by not defining abbreviations and acronyms used in posts.No worries, Bob W.. :)

[voltigeur]

This is a "high-flying" corporate course for beginners in Gruntenese with 6 credits towards your Grade Point Average (GPA).

Gruntenese: desperate, rasping style of the silent thoughts in the life of FFL legionnaires and other soldiers in the world among at most times desperate, ranting individuals trying to settle a score with the world through you or others around them in at times cold, harsh, hard, merciless environment...
EXAMPLE of GRUNTENESE:

Talking about bleach (to disinfect blood split after knifing someone)...:

"....I getz a taele to telle. Friggin clening in billits and caeptens inpection ta 1100 on friggin samedi merning. Wez divysed a ful prof plen tda beat al. Wez mix blech (sodium hypoc..wuzever.) "Javel" wit a nitret or ather clenin liqued never mynd the ferking name jest rememberid the brend name wuz ged enuf. Tihs lead to a kemikal reèction: "en suite" er toute zuite (i dent knew frenz ged enuf). Anuwayz, the kemikal réèction lead to a CLEUD of CS gaxz or uther 'en chamber' et touz zuite.

Wez clozed the deer en wez heng our feces ut of the windew like entil jest afore the caeptens keme up the caempani staers. teh onli thinge wez laked wus gaxz mesks to cap ti al. Aniwez, this irritent rééction wus ged enuf fer he deidn't stey leng to inpection wiz teers ferming up."

Corrected version:

"I got a tale to tell. Frigging billet cleaning and captain’s inspection at 1100 on frigging Saturday morning. We devised a full-proof plan that BEAT ALL. We’d mixed bleach (sodium hypoc…whatever) “Javel” with nitrate and another cleaning liquid, never mind the ferking name, just remembering the brand name was good enough. This led to a chemical reaction: “en suite” or tout de suite / I don’t know French well enough. Anyway, the chemical reaction led to a CLOUD of CS gas or other (fumes) 'en chambre' and tout de suite.

We closed the door and hung our heads out of the window until just before the captain came up the company stairs. He only thing we lacked was gaz masks to cap it all. Anyway, this irritant reaction was good enough for he didn’t stay long to inspect with tears forming up.”

GENERAL GUIDELINES for Gruntese:

This personal style of story-telling has no hard-fast or consistent rules but is rather punctuated by characteristics that are specific to each individual writer with a literate or semi-literate approach. The above style is barely semi-literate. Thank God I didn't have to write/speak English gruntese in the FFL. :)

Other variations are therefore possible: Gruntese is a bit like the "charades" game: it is written in 'sounds like' form in your spoken accent with basic spelling mistakes, for example, 'nad' for 'and', 'ni' for 'in', 'no' for 'on', 'ot' for 'to', 'os' for 'so', 'taht/htat' for 'that', 'rof' for 'for' nad os forth...

Dipthongs are also useful in Gruntese: 'ae', 'ai', 'ei', 'ie', 'ou', au, as in 'baed' for 'bad', 'bainette' for 'bayonet', 'leit' for 'late', 'geive' for 'give'. 'goud' for 'good' nad os no. You can even invent a dipthong, that is, 'ua' as in 'tuat' for 'twat'....So, pretty much anything at your discretion.

Mick (in China),
Post yer short tale about home-made CS gas in Oz Army and in Gruntenese over 'ere, mate. Hopefully, other enterprising members will write their military or non-military tales and adventures in armies all over the globe....

OTHERS, PLEASE DO TRY TO WRITE GRUNTENESE....
Perhaps if one writes in gruntenese, it would be appropiate to have the proper English text as well so that non English speaking people can use a translator program to see what is being written. While those programs are far from perfect, at least they are good enough to get the drift of the text.

[kiwi]

Is it meant to have a sort-of Irish/British slang when reading it out loud?

... or is the emphasis suppose to be put on the misspelling of each word, as per his phoniec sound

[Eagle eye]

It's really your own version to convey a gravelly and rasping account of hard, harsh first-hand experience in the military or own experience elsewhere. No particular accent targetted. The spelling mistakes can be added if you wish though it can turn it into a bit of an individual code.
Following Voltigeur's post, I'd provide the corrected version one to two days later so that non-English speakers on the board can follow what is said. The delay is to allow those who like gruntense time to decypher it. For me, it's just a bit of fun with a serious message or warning on FFL life as I knew it... :)

[Darkwolf]

Dun kno waa de problaam iz.....gruntz assay te oondarstind ef ye wark ard enuf a it.

Translation: "Don't know what the problem is....grunts easy to understand if you work hard enough at it"

[Eagle eye]

Dun kno waa de problaam iz.....gruntz assay te oondarstind ef ye wark ard enuf a it.Please provide the 'corrected version' of Gruntese either at the same time or after a given lapse of time under the original gruntese post rather than in a separate post, and in keeping with Voltigeur's request.

[Eagle eye]

Another idea: DO this to your initial gruntese post in this thread: "Don't know what the problem is....grunts easy to understand if you work hard enough at it" And delete your two last posts to keep this thread less messy... ;)